Journaling Your Way to a Memoir

 

My first diary was a 6×6 inch leather bound book with a lock and key. I only wrote brief code-like entries. The rules in my house were that I could have no privacy, so I played it safe and didn’t record my truths, but sentences and phrases that reminded me of my memories. Years later, diary and journal writers like Virginia Woolf, Anais Nin, and May Sarton showed me that writing personal stories could invite the reader into musings and intimacies that helped me learn about my own life and showed me new ways to live.

Do you keep a journal? What do you write in it? Is it a place to download your memories, or try out writing ideas? Do you draw, doodle, or vent? Is it a legacy keeper or a way to gather ideas for your memoir?

 I got over my shyness with journals, and I, like many people, have dusty boxes filled with journals. For years, I didn’t look at them, but sometimes I do, which is a mixed blessing when I see the same themes over and over again! But I also see that the basic bones of my memoir appear again and again in my journals. The first drafts of every chapter in my memoir were born in my journals. The pages are torn and stained, a testimony to my efforts to write my memoir over the years.

Writing in a journal means that we can freely write, we have invited our writing to flow without thinking of the critics whispering in our ears because we’re not “really writing.” We are journaling, spending time in the private creative space of our minds, weaving imagination and memory.

I’m looking forward to my monthly teleseminar at the National Association of Memoir Writers on May 18th with journaling expert  and writer Amber Lea Starfire. Her book Week by Week—A Year’s Worth of Journaling Prompts and Meditations is a wonderful collection of ideas, themes, and writing prompts that will chase away any writer’s block—and inspire a new relationship with your journal. The book will inspire you to investigate memories that you may have forgotten, and lead you to new ways to make the connections in your heart and mind to write more–and better.

We are going to talk about the many ways you can use your journal to enhance your memoir writing—and help you get to “The End” sooner! We all know what a journey it is to write a memoir.

Where are you on your memoir journey?

What books have inspired you the most as you continue to write?

Tell us about your journaling history–do you have boxes and stack of journals?

The What and Why of Memoir Writing

 

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is an a blend of real and imaginary, a story that reads like fiction but one that is real, based on real happenings, feelings, and people. Because a memoir is about “the truth,” it carries a certain weight. Your readers will throw themselves into the story in a powerful way because they identify with the real people that are the “characters” in a memoir. We identify with characters in fiction, too, and we also learn from them, but it’s not the same as it is in memoir. In a fictional story, we enter what John Gardner calls “The Fictive Dream,” where we are immersed totally in that world and don’t want to leave. Have you ever stayed up late reading a novel you couldn’t put down? That is being lost in the fictive dream! The same thing happens in a well-written memoir—we’re immersed in the world of the story and we don’t want to leave. We feel that we are learning from the author about aspects of life that are important lessons, a story about how we learn, stumble, make mistakes, and imperfectly grow and heal. Memoirs might be seen as present-day spiritual quests. Mark Matousek, author of Sex, Death, and Enlightenment and The Boy He Left Behind, says, “All memoirs are really a spiritual journey.”

Why Write a Memoir?

Beginning a memoir project is like being an explorer of new territory, an anthropologist, a psychologist, and a sky diver all at once—you take risks on the journey, but the journey is your challenge, a way to stretch yourself and to grow as a creative person. It gets your heart beating and draws upon your passion and the unique creative being that you are.

Writing a memoir—a story that is true—gives meaning to your life and connects you to the past and the present. It draws upon your dreams, imagination, and research skills. It hones your ability to use language and to express yourself. You might think of writing a memoir as a journey into self and soul, a means of change and transformation. Memoir writers express that they are changed by the experience for the better.

Let’s look at the reasons you might want to write a memoir, and how writing a memoir can change your life—for the better.

  • Writing a memoir—a story that is true—gives meaning to your life and connects you to the past and the present.
  • It draws upon your dreams, your imagination, and your research skills.
  • It hones your ability to use language and to express yourself.
  • Memoir gives more back to you than you put in—like magic, or like a garden.
  • Writing a memoir is a transformational and spiritual path.
  • Your story can change others’ lives . . . and your own.
  • Research proves that writing heals both body and mind.
  • Creating a narrative where you are the first-person narrator integrates the past and the present.
  • Remembering brings all parts of you together again.
  • Writing with your own voice is empowering, and it continues to empower, story by story.
  • Telling your truths frees you from shame and guilt. Why do you want to write your memoir?

What special knowledge do you have that you want to convey to others? Write a paragraph about this.

Who could benefit from what you know? List themes, audiences, and people you know who could learn from you.

Memoir Writing Fun | What a Conference! Story Circle 2012

 

We all know what fun it can be to attend a writing conference—but really—can it ever be too fun? Maybe!

I began the conference on the airplane while I chatted for three hours with my friend Amber Starfire, who is a colleague here in northern California. I know her through various events here and through her blog Writing Through Life. It turns out that three hours just got us started—you know how memoir writers are—we’re intimately curious about everyone’s lives!

The first day started off with coaching memoir writers and cheering them on with their projects, ideas, and books. That is so satisfying because you can feel the churning of the creative winds as they talk and finger their manuscript. I can see the spark in their eyes as they envision their work coming into fruition. Here is a photo of some of us coaches that morning.

Later that day Gail Straub, author of Returning to My Mother’s House—Taking Back the Wisdom of the Feminine, beguiled us with the keynote address—weaving beautiful words around the stages of the heroine’s journey—The Call, The Journey—where magic helpers and trials and tribulations ensue, The Descent, The Epiphany, and the Ascent. We all could identify with these aspects of life—and the journey to get published. She used her progress from book idea to published work as the framework to teach us about her heroine’s journey.

Afterward, fabulous dessert, and blessedly—bedtime!

The next day was bustling with four levels of workshops, chatting in the hallways, and another keynote address by Susan Lincoln, who taught us about toning to tune into the wisdom of our body-mind.  I enjoyed all the workshops and was pleased to have a large turnout for my workshop: Writing the Spiritual Memoir. I used poems by TS Eliot and Mary Oliver to set the tone of open exploration, and led the writers to find their turning point moment, and write some of their spiritual memoir.

The last day had even more wonderful workshops and the inspiring keynote by Susan Tweit, who read from her beautiful book Walking Nature Home. She lost her husband and partner, Richard, this last year to cancer, and many of us had followed her journey on her blog and Facebook posts.  That book was a love story—how she met Richard and the many things they shared—so what is before her now is a new memoir about the challenging journey of the last year, and losing the love of her life. I look forward to this book—Susan’s writing makes me stop, slow down, reflect, and tune into the small details of the world around me.

It was a bumpy ride back to California, but luckily I was listening to stories told by my friend Kate Farrell as we rocked along, which distracted me from the sweaty palms I might have gotten. When we passed from the windy air pockets of Arizona flying across the mighty Colorado River, everyone in the plane applauded the pilots—no more bucking bronco airplane! Thanks, Kate, for your rousing stories. You need to write about 10 memoirs!

 

What I Brought Home

A conference is more than the sum of its parts. It’s an adventure when we arrive—we’re open to whatever will come, and of course we don’t know what it will be. For me it was like coming home to see people that I see every conference, all the organizers, all the people who make it possible. I want to thank the Story Circle Board, especially Susan Albert, Pat LaPointe, and Peggy Moody, and so many others for a wonderful, warm, and welcoming place for women to gather with their passion for stories, their amazing and inspiring histories, and a love for the written word. I look forward to more opportunities to share, teach, and learn with this group!

I made new close friends, ate dinner at a lovely restaurant while the wild Texas wind tore at the tablecloths as I listened to the stories of women who grew up in the sixties, who had a vision for a world of peace, equality and creativity. I met my lovely assistant, Erica, who helps me so much with NAMW, and we got to have lunch and talk about our vision amid flowers and again, that Texas wind. 

Erica and I at lunch in Austin

 

 

 

 

 

The wind speaks to me, as it always did as a child in Oklahoma, so what I bring home is a tender feeling for the Great Plains that birthed me, the wide open skies and the western ways that are so familiar to me. And I look forward to more writing, books, and outreach with everyone who shares my love of memoir.

Join me at future events at the National Association of Memoir Writers–we have a free newsletter and many free events.

  • Think about your participation in conferences–what do you take home with you?
  • Write for 10 minutes a day–it amazed me how much I wrote in such a short time during the workshops.
  • Use your journal to help you practice character development, meaningful moments, and sensual details. I learned this from Amber Starfire’s workshop.
  • List the conferences you want to attend this summer. Research cost and presenters. Sign up for a conference some time this year!

 

Kate Farrell, Amber Starfire, and Linda Joy Happy after a great conference

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Many Memoir Publishing Choices–What Do I Do? | Free Roundtable with Jonna Ivin & Denise Roessle

I’m so pleased to be in conversation with Jonna Ivin, author of Will Love for Crumbs and Denise Roessle who wrote Second Chance Mother. Each of these authors chose different routes to getting their books published–which will make for a dynamic and interesting discussion. Jonna self-published her book on Kindle while Denise chose the longer path of finding a small publisher.

When we write memoir, we are passionate to get our book out into the world, and we need to find a way that works best for the kind of book that we have and a way that works with our budget, our goals, and our audience. As everyone knows, the publishing industry is exploding with many choices these days, and by next week no doubt there will be more.

We will talk about how they chose their path to publishing and fill you in on the new options out on the market today.

Join us at the National Association of Memoir Writers Thursday, 4 PM PDT! If you sign up here, you will receive the audio download so you can listen at your leisure. Isn’t technology great!!

See you there!

-Linda Joy